Sunday, April 18, 2010

My Friendship Room

Do you ever have a thought that the universe keeps dropping in your lap?

you know, like, "learn this, learn this learn this NOW"??

I've had that over the last week and wanted to share. It's a good one.

First event
: in my current novel, one of the themes is that the family is not in competition with each other (even though the MC starts out thinking they sort of are). The mom says, "There are no sides, Jade. It is just you and me and him all trying to live our lives and get along." I've been thinking about that part recently.

Second event
: I read That Amy Saia's blog post featured here. She said it well. At some point, we need to realize that there is room enough for all of our successes and give up the jealousy or small feelings. As she says, we can all have our cake and frosting (frosting...yummmmm....)

Third event
: Sitting in church today, the lyrics from the song by Ron Harris, In This Very Room, were featured.

They are (in part)

And, in this very room, there is quite enough love for all of us

And, in this very room, there is quite enough joy for all of us

And there is quite enough hope, and quite enough power

To chase away any gloom....

For Jesus, Lord Jesus, is in this very room.

Two, Three....

Yes, Universe! I get it!

There is room.
For me, for you, and even for that friend who got the seven figure book deal. It's a good thing. It means the publishing world is still in business. That new authors are getting picked up. I can share in that joy and it does not take one iota of my joy away. In fact, it increases it.

I want to stand in this room...let's call it the room of friendship, of acceptance, of support... and feel the love,joy, hope and power.

And I want to share that with you.



Janice said...

Funny. I was having this same basic conversation with my husband yesterday. I have never understood why people have a hard time being happy for other people's successes because doesn't having other people be successful improve everyone's life? Thank you for posting this.

Michelle said...

I like that, Tess! My husband and I were talking about something similar the other day, about how fear of competition makes some people unpleasant to deal with. But other people, the ones who are truly successful, are the folks who support and help their peers.

Amy Saia said...

How nice Tess! Add put so very well. It think the realization that there's enough room for all of us to succeed eliminates a lot of that competitive stress which actually keeps people from making it. You release it, and good things are now allowed to come through.

Left an award for you over on my blog : )

Tess said...

Janice: I think it's that natural man in us - but some people (and you are one of them) never seem to have an issue with that. I've always found you to be very happy for others and that is a great thing.

Michelle: it is unpleasant. and I was being and feeling unpleasant (sad, but true) and that's why I needed this lesson. it's okay now. I really did get it. and, it's not a new lesson for me ... it comes and goes.

Amy: thanks for being part of this mental journey. I appreciate your post.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Beautifully said. I think I have found quite a bit of that acceptance and support among the writers I've met through blogging. And I sure want there to be room for all of us.

Piedmont Writer said...

Beautiful post. I have always maintained "We are all in this boat together." And if we let the petty jealousies and green-eyed monster get in our way, well, it will certainly be quite cold out on the poop deck all by yourself.

Lynnette Labelle said...

Nice post, Tess. We have the same type of situation around here. The funny thing is that we're not participating in the competition. Yet, that doesn't seem to stop others from competing with us. LOL

Lynnette Labelle

Amy Allgeyer Cook said...

{sheepishly hanging head} Are you sure this post wasn't about me and you're subtley trying to tell me something. :\ Because that's a lesson I'm trying very hard to learn. It's so hard for a competitive, sports-playing 'over-acheiver-wanna-be' like me who wants to be the best, best, best at everything.

Accepting someone else's success with grace is tough and being the best at *that* isn't something I'm naturally driven to be.

Davin Malasarn said...

Tess, I agree with you that this is totally true. It's a lesson I have to remind myself of, over and over again, unfortunately. I do often feel like I'm struggling to be heard, and it relaxes me to think that there's enough room for all of us. :)

Michelle said...

Tess, I never considered you as one of the unpleasant people! Your attitude here is always positive. We were talking specifically about one of my husband's coworkers. Trust me, you always come across on your blog as a cheerful person. I'm glad you're now feeling okay on the inside.

superpaige said...

Yes! There is room for all of us to succeed and be happy. And to be happy for each other WHEN we succeed.

Have a wonderful day!

Anonymous said...

Beautifully said, Tess. Even though much of writing is solitary, we are all in this together no matter where we are on the journey. Thanks!

Crystal Cook said...

That's how I feel too! There's room for all of us to succeed! I honestly feel happy when I hear that someone has a success with their writing, because I guess that means there's hope for me too.

Love this :)

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Absolutely true. Thanks for sharing this, Tess. It's a wonderful (and humbling) way to look at life -- and writing, too. Lately I've been remembering that if we're harsh on people, if we are bitter at people's successes or even hard on them in their failures, even just in our thoughts, the same measure will be used on us when it's our turn to succeed or fail.

Have a great day!

Carolyn V. said...

Hey, I think we have the same friend. And I agree, there's room for all of us. =)

Scott said...

Well said and thanks for posting. Every success for another aspiring writer is a chance of success for every other aspiring writer out there!

Tess said...

Tricia: the blogging community is especially supportive, it is true.

Piedmont: poop deck...that's funny.

Lynette: that's another angle of this problem..letting them do their thing, even if it's unpleasant.

Amy: NO! silly girl, I said who I was talking about...a writer who got a 7 (yes 7) figure deal. okay, not really her, but that point in general. I don't really begrudge that writer anything but I'm working on not feeling that twinge of 'whatever' and not comparing it against what my blessings are.

Davin: I struggle to be honestly heard, truly heard .. at the heart sometimes as well. And, your concept of relaxing into this acceptance is a lovely one.

Michelle: oh, I know you weren't talking about me and thanks for the kind words. I was feeling that green monster on my back and had to shake it off...nothing to do with anyone at all but myself.

Superpaige: you are so good at this already - an example of friendship to me on a regular basis.

Paul: yes, exactly what I was saying. thanks for coming over and thanks for getting it.

Crystal: hope for all of us!

AL: "even just in our thoughts" .. yes. yes. yes.

Carolyn: maybe .. but I don't think it's the same local friend your thinking of (I don't know that one enough to be jealous) .. this friend who spurred that little angst I had to push down lives back East. Either way, a good lesson and one I have to keep relearning - darn it.

Scott: it is good news for all of us .. it is hope and possibility for all of us.

Cindy said...

Yay, I love this post. And I love the lyrics to that song too. It's such a joy hearing good news about other bloggers books and recognizing what amazing talent there is out there.

Angie said...

That's a wonderful point. I think I needed to hear that today. (Yeah, the universe has been bugging me too.)

Tina Laurel Lee said...

It's so funny. I never really pegged you as someone that needed the lesson, and yet I know we all do sometimes. I know I do sometimes. It is very easy to get caught up in the dark thoughts! Thanks for the reminder.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Awww... I love that. I'll definitely share that friendship room with you!

Anonymous said...

I had a very similar thing happen recently (I also blogged about it today).

Congrats on getting the message - it only took three tries :) Sometime it takes me much, much longer...

Wendy Paine Miller said...

I'm sharing it with you too. Can we eat the frosting together?

Double dipping fine by me.
~ Wendy

Alissa said...

I love the idea of a friendship room. When I ran track in high school the best competitors were the friendly ones who made sure to shake everyone's hand after the race.

Jen said...

I'm so glad there is room for all of us, everyone needs a friendship room! Great post Tess!!

beth said...

A very important reminder for us all. Also: the world would be better with more astringent!

Susan Fields said...

This is a lesson I'm still working on, but I think I've come a long way with it. Thanks for the reminder. :)

Cynthia Chapman Willis said...

So wonderful! I love this! It seems to me that there is plenty of room for all successes, especially in publishing. I mean, can there ever be enough wonderful books? No! And every person is going to write his or her own book in his or her own way, so why not make room for all? Great post, Tess!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Great post and a great lesson from the universe. :) Thanks for sharing. I kinda needed this right now in my life.

Sarah said...

Well said, Tess!

One of the things I love, love, love about the community of children's writers is that they are so ungrudging in their support, so giving.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

A success for one author gives heart to the rest of us struggling in the darkness, Roland

Thanks for the post.

Solvang Sherrie said...

Love that song, love the message the Universe sent :)

Mary Aalgaard said...

I'm feelin' the love, Tess. Thanks for pointing it out. On another blog, a writer was lamenting that "her" book was already written. But, that's not true. Story lines repeat repeat, but authors have authentic voices and new twists to old plots. And, I love that song. Thanks for putting a song in my heart this morning.

Tess said...

Cindy: sharing that joy is a good thing for our hearts and souls, isn't it?

Angie: hehehe ... that darn Universe

Tina: yep, I'm a regular folk too. I wasn't loosing sleep or anything, but my heart needed a little realignment.

Jennifer: thanks .. we'll have cookies!

Karin: yes, a nice post over there.

Wendy: double dipping? you're so generous in spirit!

Alissa: a track girl ... how cool. and, yes. being a good sport is a big part of this concept. thanks for visiting.

Jen: lots and lots of room

beth: ha!

Susan: aww, you are so kind hearted, I doubt this is a real issue in your life.

Cynthia: a good point about the need for lots of great books ... we can never have enough of them and the world's bookshelf is HUGE :)

Karen: a good reminder for me as well

Sarah: oh yes, the blogging world of writing is amazingly supportive. I'm continually amazed.

Roland: hi! thanks for coming by - and, yes. it does not take away our potential for light ... it helps illuminate our path. nice thought there.

SolvangSherrie: I love that song, too.

Mary: exactly!

Crystal said...

Great, GREAT post, Tess! Yes! There is room for ALL of us to be successful in this field. Reading not only about another author's contracted deal, but also about their JOURNEY to that deal, gives me such hope and inspiration for my own journey I can't help but be happy for them. Yes, I want to stand in this room, too, Tess! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts . . . I'm always uplifted whenever I visit here! :)

Jill Kemerer said...

What a beautiful message! It can be hard to remember there is room, especially in such a competitive field, but you're right. There is room.

Janna Qualman said...

Very nice, Tess. I think I agree with your assessment, and I'm so glad you shared the "lesson" with all of us.

PJ Hoover said...

This is such a hugely important lesson, Tess! There is room for all of us.

Lisa and Laura said...

Tess, you are a genius. This is EXACTLY what I needed to read right now. Thank you.

Tess said...

Crystal: yes, me too. I learn so much from the experience of others.

Jill: it is sometimes hard to remember. I've learned this lesson before ... it seems a cyclical thing with me. hopefully, this time, it sticks.

Janna: thanks and thanks for coming by

PJ: I think it is a life changing lesson, yes I agree.

LiLa: whew! glad I'm not the only one :)

Amy Tate said...

Great post! Words are such a blessing to people and we should all be excited when an author is recognized for his work.