Sunday, July 26, 2009

Life Is Not Fair

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Yesterday I heard my 8 year old say to her friend,


"Life is not fair and life is not even but, in the end, we all get good things."


She was explaining why it was alright to let her have the last banana Popsicle.

I smiled because I taught her that line. I say it to my kids every time they fight or complain about the lack of fairness in families. I heard it from a friend several years ago and snapped it right up. The best lines are ones shared

so...

I wanted to pass it along today


Let's think on it...


Life is not fair

and


life is not even

but

in the end...

we all get good things.


Tess' Soapbox Moment: So often, we unfairly compare our journey to others. Why? It shortchanges the notion that there is power and meaning in our own journey. Consider for a moment the idea that you are where you are at this particular moment because there is something to be learned there. That you will reach your destination when it is right for you. That I will reach mine when it is right for me.


Question: Can you see the power in this concept? Might it help us enjoy the journey a little more on the road to publication or in other areas of our lives?

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29 comments:

Solvang Sherrie said...

I like that! I think I'll use it on my kids, too...and myself :)

T. Anne said...

So true. I need to focus more on the good things I have rather than the good things I want.

Corey Schwartz said...

Tess, your posts are always so thoughtful. I love your blog.

Lisa and Laura said...

I LOVE this post. The whole comparing your journey to that of other writers is so natural, yet so unproductive. Thanks for this Tess.

P.S.
Your carnivorous bird post had us almost peeing our pants the other day. Hilarious.

Our very best chicken has suffered all of the same fates...and worse. Some people had the gall to spit it out after their very first taste. The nerve!

We just got news that there are a couple people who loved our dish and if we tweak our sauce a bit they will will find it much more palatable. Unfortunately, the ingredient they don't like is sort of major so we're going to be slaving away in the kitchen. This cooking thing is totally for the birds. Pun intended.

MeganRebekah said...

Very powerful post! And so true. We can't compare ourselves to others because we're all on different journeys with different stops along the way.

Scott said...

I'm a firm believer that things happen when they happen. I'll find the right agent when it's time for me to find the right agent. I'll climb Mt. Everest . . . well, forget that one, too outdoorsy for me. : )

People rush through life and barely exist, instead of walking through life and actually living.

Thanks for the new line I'm going to start using. : )

S

Cindy said...

Nice post. I can definitely see how I need to enjoy my journey to publication more. And those "good things" that are to come, they don't always look like we imagine them, but they're still there waiting for us :)

Stephanie Faris said...

We can only control our own journey. I wrote a blog a while back about jealousy and resentment and what a waste those emotions are. It's a waste of time and energy...if we can channel that energy into our writing and into being more productive and perfecting our craft, THEN we'll achieve our dreams.

Wendy @ All in a Day's Thought said...

Amen and Amen!
~ Wendy

Kate Karyus Quinn said...

Oh, I am totally stealing that little saying - not just to tell my son, but to remind myself of as well!

Amy Allgeyer Cook said...

I hear people say that a lot. That life isn't fair, but I've always thought of it like this: fair means equal parts. Equal parts of pie. Equal time on the swings. Equal parts of life, good and bad. It's all about balance...in all things.

...at least, I have to believe that or I'll die tilting at windmills of unfairness and never get a chance to live. :)

PJ Hoover said...

I totally believe in that mentality. My path is my path, and I'm on it for a good reason. And I have learned SO much on it.

Tess said...

Thanks for taking the time to comment, guys. I appreciate your discussion and insight. It's so much fun for me to think about these things with other writers.

Great points given here :D

Davin Malasarn said...

I try so hard to remember this, Tess, but it's a tough lesson for me. The thing that helps me cope is to realize that all of our books are different. The book that I want to write is different from the book that everyone else wants to write, so we can't expect that the road to publication would be the same for those two very different projects. Thanks for the reminder!

Charlie said...

Yes! The journey is everything!

I had an epiphany years ago that I’m here to learn. A friend of mine refers to it as the journey to soul perfection. I don’t know what you would call it, but it helps me to know that EVERYONE feels despair at times, and to recognize those moments as an opportunity to learn. I personally believe that a person’s character is determined by what they do in those instances. If you need a day to get it out of your system, do it, and then move on. Stay positive.

Great post Tess.

Robyn Campbell said...

Tess, thoughtful post. It's not about the getting there, it's all about the climb. :)

Sarah said...

I love this post and that quote! It's absolutely true.

Jill Kemerer said...

Mmmm, banana popsicles...Oops! One track mind!

I'm posting about this next week too. Our comparisons take away from the joy of each day. How silly! I think your baby could write a sermon. Thanks for the reminder!

Suzanne said...

ooooohhhhhh.

Can I just take your word for it?

Crystal said...

Another thoughtful post, Tess! Love it! And yes, I see the power in this quote. You are so wise. It's all about the journey . . .

Thanks for this reminder. :)

L.T. Elliot said...

I think I'll be using that line at our house. =] What a great principle to teach others!

dellgirl said...

I love love love it, Tess! I will be "snapping it up" myself, as soon as the opportunity arises. I have often and always used the first four words -- but the additional fourteen words add PUNCH! This is just beautiful, thanks for sharing it.

B.J. Anderson said...

That's a great saying to remember and I think it helps ease the way to publication. I think the worse thing anyone can do is compare themselves to someone else. Ugh. That can just demoralize you worse than anything. Thanks for passing on the words of wisdom, Tess!

Lady Glamis said...

Tess, that is simply beautiful! I should print it up and put it by my computer. We really are on our own journeys, and comparing ourselves to others is never ever good. We should strive to be the best WE can be, not what others want us to be. We should do things for the right reasons, and things will fall into a good place in their own time. Good luck with whatever troubles may be following you. I know your book will get to the spot it needs to be.

Anita said...

I just want everyone to succeed at something...whether it's publication or whatever. And I really don't feel like I'm competing against anyone...just wanting my own writing to be as good as it can be at this time in my life.
Yum! Banana popsicle?!

ElanaJ said...

You are beyond wise. I love that line; I'm going to start using it at school!

Kelly H-Y said...

You bet! Love the saying, and love the thoughtful advice - - perfect, perfect, perfect! By the way ... totally agree that the banana popsicles are the best! :-)

Anna C. Morrison said...

Even though we are exactly where are we meant to be, and our lives are no more or less important than anyone else's, it is still far to easy to compare myself unfavorably to others. We all do need to keep focus on our own journeys. And banana popsicles are a yummy way to accomplish this feat.

Tess said...

Wow, really great comments. Thanks so much for taking the time to weigh in :D